Hurting - Part 2

The evening after seeing the doctor, the boys were playing out front with the neighbors. They were definitely tired - from the doctor's visit and also we had cut their nap short that day to go to a birthday party (maybe not the best parenting move!). We were so happy they were outside playing as everyone seems to get along a lot better when there is fresh air involved. We told them it was just about time to go inside for dinner. S ran in to get his Nerf gun and so he didn't hear that it was time to go inside. N was starting to walk inside as S came out with his Nerf gun. When I told S we needed to go inside, he got really upset that he didn't get a chance to play and just wanted 5 minutes. I told him 5 minutes and turned my back to go inside and get dinner on the table. The next thing I know, N's yelling; I guess S fired the Nerf gun pretty close to him and hit him in the neck so it took the wind out from him. N got so mad from that, that he took the light saber he had in his hands and hit S so hard in the face/glasses/head that I hear the light saber crack and later we found out he broke S' glasses. S then of course started crying. I was totally mortified as the neighbors were outside watching but my biggest concern was that my son hurt his brother so intentionally and so badly. I so wanted to cry but knew that wouldn't solve things.

I'm sure I didn't handle things correctly. I was angry. We took all the guns and put them in time out. Same with the light sabers. We told the boys they weren't allowed to eat together. One would eat while the other had his bath and then we'd switch. They then were upset again that they didn't get to eat together - what? This is the same brother you just plummeted and who plummeted you. No movies, no stories. Just bedtime as soon as they were done with dinner/bath. I was with the one eating (J was bathing the other) and I lit into both of them as it was their time to eat. S, I laid into him about how he has a responsibility to know where he's shooting the gun. N, I laid into him about retaliating. The interesting thing is N never hurts his brother unless his brother has hurt him first. It is something we've definitely been working on and still need to work on (obviously!). I then told N that he was going to have to use some of his change from his coin jar to pay for fixing S' glasses. He was then so upset and fixated on if S could see, if his glasses were okay, if his back up glasses worked why he needed to get the other glasses fixed, etc.

Needless to say, it was such a crappy way to end the day. I think the boys forgot but I still feel so sad and tense writing about it now (a week or so later).