Assessment

So yesterday was the boys' preschool teacher/parent conferences (without the kids). I had 2 back-to-back time slots as they said it would be best to have a designated time for each boy. They asked if possible for the parents to arrive a little earlier than their appointment time so the parent would have an opportunity to review their child(ren)'s portfolios (the portfolios contain a couple pictures of the boys at school as well as teacher comments from various moments assessing times when they'd seen social/cognitive, fine motor or gross motor activities or issues). I read through both boys' portfolios and felt so emotional (in a mostly good way) afterward. I was actually a bit intimidated meeting with the teachers as I didn't know what to expect - I did jot down a couple notes of things I wanted to discuss with respect to each child. The items were sensitivity, lisp, perfectionism for S and aggression and wanting to be like his brother for N.

When it was my turn, I just went into the boys' classroom and sat at one of the little tables with the boys' two teachers. They are both such nice ladies and such great first teachers for the boys. Anyway, they proceeded to talk a little about the things in the portfolio and then told me that overall they were really impressed with how well the boys adjusted to being in class considering this was their first year of preschool (many of the kids in the boys' class are now in their second year), that the boys are really well behaved, listen well and are generally charming.

They told me about one incident where a bunch of the girls were playing dress up with the princess costumes and S elected to join them and did the pretend play with them, including putting on one of the costumes (I can totally see this as he just thinks the princesses are so beautiful). Anyway, when he did that a handful of the boys started laughing at him. One of the teachers intervened and began to explain how S was just playing and using his imagination and how there was nothing wrong with it. While she was explaining this, N went over, put on a dress and sat with his brother. That little story just made me want cry - with pride for N, for sadness to think S was laughed at but also joy that he and N have each other and generally seem to keep an eye out for each other. After that, the teacher said the other boys were fine with it and even started doing some dress up themselves.

They also had written down (as an indication of social/cognitive skills) how one day during snack S had walked up to the teacher with his milk in his hand and said, "Teacher (he used her name), this milk is refreshingly cold". I had to chuckle - I could really just imagine S saying that. They also said that he once noticed a couple boys playing in the big yard and he walked up to the teacher and said that one of them must be sad because (insert some boy's name here) is not here today and he really likes to play with him. The teachers indicated they didn't think S' sensitivity was too extreme to be a detriment. They noticed him really trying to keep the tears in check when he fell once and said it appears he trying to work through it on his own. They also said they didn't think he has a lisp - that a couple words that have a lispy sound are his name and a couple other words where the lisp was probably a hold back from when he may have been learning the letters/sounds and he's just carried over saying the word the same way. When I look back he originally said his name correctly but then N added the lisp when he'd say his brother's name and the new version of the name seems to have stuck. As for the perfectionism, they said just to try to make any learning fun so he won't focus so much on results. They didn't think it was too bad from their observation. They also mentioned that he's having a hard time writing his name but also the letters in his name are the more challenging letters for children to learn and add to that that he is a boy and they weren't concerned.

For N, they had written down that he has been good about working through conflict with his friends (which I was so happy to hear since his conflict resolution with S isn't always done in a productive fashion). He likes to play with the blocks and do predominately gross motor play, although he definitely does the art projects too because he brings those home all the time. They said he definitely doesn't appear aggressive and is really good at sitting still during story time (even if the other kids around him are not). When I asked about him wanting to do everything S does or his opinion being shaped so much by S, they were really surprised. They didn't see that at all and said they would have actually expected it to be more so the other direction. This was so surprising to me, especially since this is so prevalent at home. Not sure how to explain it or figure that one through. But happy. They said the boys play separately most the day.

Whew... I was so worried that they'd tell me something I didn't want to hear. I guess I should have expected so much more as I know the boys are these wonderfully sweet, caring, sensitive (each in their own way - S' is so overt and N's is so quiet and discrete), smart, inquisitive children. I guess I'm just thrilled to know that others are seeing the same thing.